An Arrested Development Revival, A Veronica Mars movie, 24’s return to the small screen and Bryan Fuller’s got a show on television again? Must be 2004.
The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them—words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemy would love to steal away.
—Stephen King, The Body
Every year, Story Pirates works in 250 schools around the country creating memorable experiences for thirty thousand kids who need them most. We go into low-income communities and create high impact, mind-blowing moments that kids will never forget. Each residency shows these children that their ideas matter and inspires a lifelong love of learning.
Your old pal Branson here. It’s that time of year again. The time of year where YOU have the opportunity to donate a few bones to our amazing cause here at Story Pirates. For those not in the know, Story Pirates is a not-for-profit I work for that goes around the city performing kids’ stories in hilarious sketch comedy shows and encouraging them to believe in the power of their own ideas. Honestly, it’s my favorite thing in the world and I get choked up even typing about it here on the internet.
But here’s the thing, we can’t keep doing this without your help. So I’m asking YOU to donate to our worthy and tax-deductible cause! And this year, Story Pirates is offering up some sweet incentives to everybody who donates! That’s right, we’ll be giving shout outs to the educator of your choice! Just check out our main page for a list of incentives. Do you have a teacher who inspired you? I know I do! I’m lousy with ‘em! An embarrassment of riches! Donate to Story Pirates and we’ll let that teacher know how much they meant to you! Just like in that one episode of the Twilight Zone! Don’t worry, it was one of the sweet ones, not one of the creepy ones!
And because they were such a hit last year, I’ll be offering up my own incentives to anybody kind enough to donate to us. Here they are!
$1 - I’ll be sure not to sign you up for the montly White Castle e-mail newsletter.
$5 - I’ll use your name the next time I go to Starbucks and then when they give me my drink I’ll be like “That’s not my name, sucker!”
$20 - I’ll draw a picture of a ghost playing guitar, singing your name and e-mail it to you.
$50 - I’ll call you on the phone and sing Tom Cochrane’s “Life Is A Highway” to you at full volume until either you hang up or I start forgetting the words.
$75 - The next time that I say “I love you” to somebody, I’ll call them by your name and then refuse to explain myself.
$100 - TWITTER TAKEOVER! I’ll take over your twitter for 24 hours, or let you take over mine. Or if you’re older than 35, I’ll just write you a nice e-mail or something.
$150 - I will send my friend Tim Platt a series of voice-mails about whatever you want me to. There’s no upper limit to the number of voice-mails. Honestly? The more the better. Go nuts with this one.
$200 - I will convince a stranger that I’m in Vampire Weekend and get them to take a picture with me, and then I’ll email it to you.
$300 - You are allowed to live with my parents in Virginia for one (1) week.
$500 - I will name my firstborn child after you, unless you have a terrible name.
$600 - I will either legally marry you, or legally promise to never marry you. Your choice!
$800 - The two of us will go on a helicopter tour of New York City and I will have an awful time because I’m deathly afraid of heights. Please don’t donate eight hundred dollars.
$1,000 - I will match whatever the $1,000 prize that Zach Braff is offering on his Kickstarter page.
(Please reblog so that more 17 year olds and comedians with no money can see it!)
By the fans, for the fans, anyone eagerly awaiting the Netflix release of Arrested Development’s fourth season might want to whet their palate with this documentary about a wealthy family that lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together…
Now available on Amazon Video and iTunes.
Seven years after being cancelled Arrested Development returns for its heavily anticipated fourth season on Netflix on May 26th 2013. With all the episodes of this now cult sitcom being released for streaming at once, it marks not only a new model for television consumption, but also a possible option for cancelled series.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
—Rosemary Urquico (via blitzkreigkate)